Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dear Gods, it's a trend.

Sebastian Laurent does not approve.

Excerpt from yet another serial-numbers-filed-off porn fanfic published as a real book, this one called Beautiful Bastard.

The writing is pretty dire, for the most part. There's a few funny lines, but overall? As porn, it's lukewarm. As writing, it's meh.

Ladies, there's much better kink-lit out there.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

'50 Shades ' Casting

So this web columnist is going through the names rumored to be attached to the '50 Shades' movie project. She says Christian Bale is 'too creepy' to play Christian Grey.

read the crack-smokin' goodness here.

...so, let me get this straight. Christian Bale (married, father, private person, admittedly on a bit of a short fuse) is TOO CREEPY to play the...

Yeeeeahno. Especially since it's not as if he hasn't played a fucked-up, kinky billionaire with a thing for rubber and masks before, amirite?

Of course, I pray he doesn't, because then I'd have to actually go see this miserable piece of excrescence. I am a big fan of Christian Bale's work overall, and I would feel obligated to see this just to see how he says the world's lamest catch-line and manages not to look contemptuous doing it. (Aside: "Laters, baby" is supposed to be a cool, smooth exit line? Yeah, cool and smooth like the heart of a a fucking volcano, maybe.)

Christian Bale, think of your daughter. I mean, any kid might understand how her dad wound up having sex with Ewan MacGregor on a rooftop -- but this? Oh, for the love of all that is holy, please, please do not do this.

Second thoughts?

Although.... now that I'm thinking about it... imagine, if you will, a Christopher Nolan movie based on this. FIFTY SHADES OF THE DARK KNIGHT.

The sound you hear in the background is my husband beating me to death with our copies of the trilogy on BluRay.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION! Dream casting for movies...

Yes, this entry is all about 'dream casting' -- meaning, who would you love to see (or have seen, in the case of movies or TV shows that were already made) in given character roles?

Here's a few of mine, just to get the ball rolling:

Friday, January 18, 2013

Sleep: The Final Frontier.

I have suffered from insomnia for years. By 'suffered,' I actually mean 'wanted to poke red-hot pokers through my own eyes just to get some damned sleep on some nights.'

Ambien helps sometimes, except when it doesn't, and even I can't predict when it will work. It's bad enough that I have trouble getting to sleep in the first place -- once I'm there, I don't stay asleep. It's to the point where sometimes I find myself mildly hallucinating during the day on the worst nights.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Fifty Shades of Flapjacks

One of my RL friends is a guy named Yuri. He is a font of stories about a fairly interesting life with some really oddball living situations.

Unfortunately, he often forgets which stories he's already told to a given person. This results in some of his friends hearing a story they've heard a number of times before. Time and repetition have led to some of us using the oft-repeated phrase "This is not a new story, Yuri" in order to stave off the repetition of a story heard many times before.

This is not a new story. 

Monday, January 14, 2013

Enter the Bloggeuse

So, I finally got around to starting a blog all my own. Considering how opinionated I am, this should be unsurprising to a lot of folks, I suppose.

But anyway...

I had a LiveJournal for a long time, but I finally got to the point where I gave it up because the formatting code was brain-dead and squished my impulse to post or comment. I really, really hate LiveJournal, have I mentioned this? Oops, I think I just did.

This blog will probably be pretty 'stream-of-consciousness' in places, when I just feel like ranting briefly, but in others, I expect it to be more like a very occasional op-ed sort of thing about whatever's bouncing around inside my pixelated brain. Since I am a writer, I hope that it's all comprehensible and entertaining.

If it's not? Well, I'll refund every penny you paid for it.

(As a side note, the title of this entry is my insane feminine-ending version of 'blogger,' just because I'm kind of nuts like that.)


Musical Selection: Kate Bush, "Lily"